A Real Day with My Toddler
I had my son when I turned 46 – not exactly the “typical” age for new motherhood, but honestly, what even is typical anymore? Let me tell you, having a baby in your forties isn’t easy. There’s no sugarcoating that. But I was (and still am) incredibly lucky to be able to stay home with him, which gave me the freedom to create a day that works for both of us – one that keeps us sane, connected, and learning little by little.
He wasn’t an easy baby either. Cranky, super sensitive, and not too thrilled about being around other kids. There were days when he’d flat-out ignore everyone, and other days when he’d just push them away (sometimes literally – Oof). That’s when I realized: I needed a structure. Not a rigid, minute-by-minute schedule, but a rhythm to our day that helped him feel safe, social, and supported.
Here’s what a typical day looked like for us when he was younger and honestly, still kind of does.
1. Mornings That Start Slow (But Early!)
He’s always been an early riser – 6:30 a.m. on the dot, like he had a little internal rooster. As much as I’d love to sleep in, I actually came to appreciate the predictability of it. We’d spend a few minutes just cuddling in bed, no rush, before getting up to brush teeth, wash up, and get dressed (or in his case, get dressed without much opinion because picking outfits was not his thing back then).
While I made breakfast, he’d sit at the table with his soft toys, “chatting” with them while I cooked. We always ate together and talked about what the day might look like- where we’d go, who we might see, what we were excited about. That little breakfast chat became a grounding part of our day.
2. Learning Through Play (And a Bit of Mess)
After breakfast, we’d read a few books – nothing fancy, just whatever he felt like pulling off the shelf. We’d talk about the story, ask silly questions, and sometimes draw pictures about what we read. Even if it was just a couple of scribbles, it helped him express what stuck with him.
Then came games: building blocks, matching cards, or anything hands-on that got his brain ticking. These moments were short but sweet – toddlers aren’t exactly known for their attention spans, right?
3. Time to Get Out and Explore
By 10:30, it was time to head outside. Living in the city doesn’t offer quiet strolls down peaceful, leafy streets, but we made do. We’d walk around the block, stop to look at trees, pick up leaves (and pebbles – so many pebbles), and listen for birds.
Then it was off to the playground. Slides, trampolines, sandbox time – we did it all. I carried this massive bag full of toys, buckets, shovels… you name it. That bag weighed more than he did. But oh, the sandbox giggles made it all worth it.
4. Midday Recharge (For Both of Us)
We’d head home around noon for lunch and (hopefully) a nap. He wasn’t a great napper – 1 to 1.5 hours max – and by 3.5 years old, he was done with naps entirely. Just flat-out refused. I tried everything to bring it back, but… nope. So I waved the white flag.
5. A Little Work, A Little Play
Post-nap (or quiet time), we’d do a few chores together. He’d “help” with cooking, like washing veggies, mixing stuff, handing me utensils. Sure, he made more mess than progress, but it gave him such a sense of purpose. Toddlers love to feel helpful, even if you’re cleaning flour off the ceiling afterward. After that, we’d usually have a quick, healthy snack – something like apple slices with peanut butter, or banana and avocado waffles. It helped bridge the gap between lunch and dinner and kept his energy (and mood) more stable.
Around 3 p.m., we’d break out the kinetic sand or playdough. He also had a water table that he adored- though cleaning that thing in a tiny NY apartment? Let’s just say I earned every sip of my evening tea.
These sensory activities didn’t last super long, maybe 30 minutes each, but that’s all they really need.
6. Time for Independent Play (And a Breather for Me)
By 4, I needed a little break. He had a big playpen that he could go in and out of freely. I’d put a few favorite toys and soft books inside and let him do his thing while I caught my breath. This little window of time was everything.
7. Wrapping Up the Day with Calm
Dinner was at 5. We’d sit together, eat, and talk about the day – what we liked, what we didn’t, what we might do tomorrow. I loved these little conversations. They made the day feel whole.
By 6:30, we’d start winding down. Bath, teeth brushing, baby lotion massage (still one of his favorite things), and books. Books, books, books. No matter how tired I was, reading at bedtime wasn’t optional. Even now at 5 years old, if I dare suggest skipping story time, I get full-blown tears. It’s our thing and honestly, I Love that.
By 7:45, he was off to sleep. And I’d finally sit down, probably with a snack and something mindless on TV, grateful for the quiet but even more grateful for the little boy who made my days so full.
Final Thoughts
Having a structured day isn’t about being perfect or rigid. It’s about creating calm for both you and your toddler. Mine needed predictability and so did I. There’s always room for flexibility (and snacks… so many snacks), but finding our rhythm made the chaos feel a little more manageable.
If you’re in the thick of toddler life right now, I see you. You’re doing great. ❤️
Mom Tips: Making It Through the Day
- Routine = Peace: I can’t stress this enough – routines are a toddler’s best friend (and yours too). It doesn’t need to be military precision, but having predictable parts of the day helps everyone feel more secure. Even if the routine gets mixed up, knowing that certain things stay the same can make a world of difference.
- Take Breaks (For You Too!): It’s easy to get caught up in being everything to your toddler, but don’t forget to recharge. If your little one is happy playing independently for a bit, take that time for yourself! Whether it’s a hot cup of coffee, 10 minutes to scroll Instagram, or just a deep breath – you need it too.
- Embrace the Mess: Toddlers are messy, whether it’s cooking, playing with sand, or having snack time. I used to get frustrated by the chaos, but then I realized: they’re learning, they’re growing, and, honestly, cleaning up can wait. Give them the freedom to make a mess (within reason, of course). It’s all part of the process.
- Include Your Toddler in Chores: Don’t worry if they’re not actually helping – they’ll get there. Just having them “help” with the tasks, like stirring, washing, or setting the table, teaches responsibility and gives them a sense of accomplishment. Plus, they’ll love it. I mean, who doesn’t love pretending to be a grown-up for a few minutes?
- Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. If your toddler isn’t into story time, they won’t learn less. If they don’t nap, well, there’s always tomorrow. Be flexible, and don’t feel guilty when things don’t go exactly as planned. They’re growing, and so are you.
- Say “No” (Gently): It’s okay to say no, even to the things you really want to say yes to. Sometimes, boundaries are needed, especially when your toddler has an endless well of energy. It’s all about balance, and don’t forget that it’s okay to put your needs first sometimes. They’ll survive.
- Celebrate the Small Wins: Toddlerhood is full of milestones, but sometimes the smallest things mean the most. Whether it’s a new word, a new friendship at the playground, or simply surviving a busy day, take a moment to celebrate. These little moments are what make the journey so precious.
I hope these tips help make your daily routine feel a bit easier! You’re not alone in this – we’re all figuring it out as we go. Keep doing your best and savor every little moment. 💕
